You know I don't usually post pictures. But, in this case, I had to,

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Canned, and Junk.

A rabbi, a cook, and an aardvark walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Psychics meeting; if you don't know where and when, you're not invited.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

This Is A Joke

If you get it, pat yourself on the back.

Q: Say something in Spanish.

A: Algo.

One of my favorite dumb jokes. Q: How do you top a car? A: Tep on the brake, Toopid!

The past,present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

I heard that President Trump wants to outlaw shredded cheese, because he wants to make America grate again.

I think I've stumbled on a truth. The reason the world is in such terrible shape is because a whole generation grew up without Captain Kangaroo.

Not everyone will get this. "Say something in Spanish." "Algo."

A Shakespearian actor gets a meat stain on his tie, and shouts, "Out, out! Spam dot!"

Who the heck was Ken Tucky? And why is a state named after him?

Iced Coffee Recipe

1. Have kids

2. Make coffee

3. Get busy with kids. Forget you made coffee.

4. Drink it cold.

Trump Visits The Wailing Wall

You probably know by now that almost anything can remind me of a joke. President Trump's recent visit is no exception.

*****

A Rabbi, walking down a New York street, loses his hat. A passer-by retrieves it for him. On regaining his hat, the Rabbi says, "Bless you, my son. I never could have gotten that myself."

On the way home, the guy starts thinking. "I've just been blessed by a Rabbi! This must be my lucky day. I'm going to the track!"

The first race has a horse named "Stetson". The guy exclaims, "Stetson! That's a hat!" And puts everything he has on Stetson, to win.

Stetson wins big, and the next race has a horse name "Fedora". "Another hat!", he thinks, and puts all his winnings on Fedora.

Fedora wins big, too. "OK", he thinks, "one more race, and I'll show my wife my winnings."

But, when he gets home, his wife asks, "So, where's the money?"

"I lost it all in the third race. I put it all on a horse named 'Chateau', and it came in last."

"You idiot! Chateau is house! Chapeau would have been hat!"

"Oh."..."Well, it doesn't matter, anyway. Some Japanese horse won, named "Yarmulke".

*****

It Hurts

Guy goes to his doctor. "Doc,it hurts when I touch my self." He touches his head, then his elbow, his knee, his hip, and his tummy. "No matter where I touch me, it hurts." The doctor examines him, and says, "I found your problem. Your finger is broken."

Greeting Your Customers

When I wprked in restaurant, we were always told to give a "two-part" greeting, like "Hello, welcome to Friendly's".

I liked to give my own examples:

Good afternoon. Can I show you a seat?

Hi! How are you today?

Hey! Sup?