An oldie, a goodie, and getting truer

I read somewhere that if you walk 5 miles a day, you stay healthy. Well, I've been doing that for about a month, and now I don't know where I am!

At least I think I'm funny

Years ago, I was a warehouse manager for a small manufacturing firm. One day, a shipment came in, packed with foam blocks, instead of the more common peanuts.

Struck by a sudden inspiration, I set up the foam blocks in a circular pattern, with every two blocks supporting a third. When I was done, I had a miniature copy of a famous archaeological site in England.

I turned to my assistant and said, "Look! Foam-henge!"

The Celebration

At a local bar, a large group of blond women came in, obviously celebrating. As they entered, they were chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" They ordered several rounds of drinks, chanting all the while.

Finally, the bartender got curious, and asked what they were celebrating.

"Well, we bought this jigsaw puzzle, and it said on the box, "2 to 4 years", but we finished it in only 51 days!"

Everyone Should Know

I love cooking my children and my pets.

Remember, punctuation is important.

Accordion

Chatting online, and the conversation made me think of this one.


Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and an accordion?

A: You have to plug in the vacuum cleaner before it sucks.

How Many?

So, this guy sees his wife crying after reading a news story of the internet.

He says, 'what's wrong honey?'

She says, 'two Brazilian people died in a skydiving accident today.'

The husband says,' I understand it's terrible and all but why are you crying?'

She exclaims, ' do you even know how many people that is?! I don't even know how many people one brazillion is.'

He's Actually Funny

 I thought of posting these as text, but some are better spoken, and I wanted to be sure these folks got proper credit.


http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/jamies-joke-of-the-week-090913.htm