If you believe telekinesis is real, raise my hand.

I Came Across This Recently

A man goes to the doctor, worried about his wife’s temper.
The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”
The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”

You Lost Your What?

Another of my favorite stupid jokes...

"I lost my khakis!"

Everywhere in the world, you're naked. Except in Massachusetts. There, you're OK, but you can't drive.

Me, Too

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic,
And so am I.

What Exactly Should I Do?

OK, so there's a major snowstorm on the way. I live in New England. It has happened before.

But, we're all being told to "hunker down".

How do you hunker?

And, why is it always down?

Ruh-roh, Shaggy

Recently, the news has been alive with stories about the Korean Air flight that was delayed over nuts. At one point, it was referred to as "Nut row", and I immediately thought of Scooby-Doo.

Love this one!

I came across this on another site (Now, That's Funny S**t!), and just had to share it.


An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares Now what do we tell them for Christmas?