Saturday, December 13, 2014

Ruh-roh, Shaggy

Recently, the news has been alive with stories about the Korean Air flight that was delayed over nuts. At one point, it was referred to as "Nut row", and I immediately thought of Scooby-Doo.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Love this one!

I came across this on another site (Now, That's Funny S**t!), and just had to share it.

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares Now what do we tell them for Christmas?

An oldie, a goodie, and getting truer

I read somewhere that if you walk 5 miles a day, you stay healthy. Well, I've been doing that for about a month, and now I don't know where I am!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

At least I think I'm funny

Years ago, I was a warehouse manager for a small manufacturing firm. One day, a shipment came in, packed with foam blocks, instead of the more common peanuts.

Struck by a sudden inspiration, I set up the foam blocks in a circular pattern, with every two blocks supporting a third. When I was done, I had a miniature copy of a famous archaeological site in England.

I turned to my assistant and said, "Look! Foam-henge!"

Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Celebration

At a local bar, a large group of blond women came in, obviously celebrating. As they entered, they were chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" They ordered several rounds of drinks, chanting all the while.

Finally, the bartender got curious, and asked what they were celebrating.

"Well, we bought this jigsaw puzzle, and it said on the box, "2 to 4 years", but we finished it in only 51 days!"