Friday, August 31, 2012

A Stupid Joke

This morning, a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door. They've always amused me. Anyway, it reminded me of this joke.

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an agnostic?

Someone who knocks on your door, but then they don't know why.


Friday, August 24, 2012

The Disagreement

I used to love telling this one at work.

====================================
Two friends are driving through Wisconsin, when they enter a small town, spelled "Oconomopole". They get into a friendly argument about how it's pronounced. Is it "oh-kah-no-MAH-po-lee" or "oh-KA-no-mah-poll"?

To settle it, they pull into the next driveway, and walk up to the girl behind the counter.

"Excuse me, can you help us settle an argument? Could you just pronounce where we are, slowly?"

The girl leans over the counter, and whispers,

"Burger King."
====================================

What made it fun was, I worked in fast food.


Saturday, August 18, 2012

An Old One-Liner

I was reminded today of an old one-liner (that I still find funny).

Lord, grant me patience....NOW!



Monday, August 13, 2012

One Thing Leads To Another


The joke I posted yesterday made me think of this one. By the way, I make beer, and one of my favorites to make is blond ale, which I call "Dotted Line Ale".

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph.
A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road.
When she had stopped, the officer asked,
"License and Registration please."
"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this,"
she said smiling.
"That's impossible!" The officer replied,
"I've never heard of such a license."
The blonde handed him her license. The officer said,
"Just as I suspected.
This is an ordinary license,
I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."
The blonde pointed to the bottom of the license and said,
"Can you see this? It says here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."



Sunday, August 12, 2012

Too Funny!

I don't usually pass along this type, but I laughed so hard, I had to.




Shakespeare

I was watching a piece about Shakespeare in Central Park, and I was reminded of this little bit I had seen online several times.

If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit?


Thursday, August 2, 2012

Hmm...

If three out of four people suffer from constipation, does that mean the last one enjoys it?

Stupid

I don't know why, but talking about jokes from my youth made me think of this one. It's dumb, but cute.

Q: What has eighteen legs and catches flies?

A: A baseball team